They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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