New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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