If i come over, it means nothing
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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