I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
