just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
