Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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