You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We had sex on a dog bed..
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
