May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
