i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
