but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
