I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
