Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(915): View more from Texas

After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.

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(718): View more from New York

we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

They are making fun of natty and blackberries.

(646): View more from New York

Tell them they are ugly.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...

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(801): View more from Utah

One less thong to worry about.

(801): View more from Utah

One less *thing! But probably that too.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.

(1-405): View more from Oklahoma

Maybe we should bring mom next time.

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