im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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