i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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