Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
