God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
