Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
