All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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