I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Randomize
