You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
