She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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