Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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