i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize
