"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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