you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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