Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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