Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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