And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
