I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
