you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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