I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
