Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
