Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
