don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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