and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
the liver wants what the liver wants
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
