office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
