...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I will pee on everything he values.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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