Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
