Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
