i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
