final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Of course I have a pirate flag
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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