i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
