I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
