I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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