I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
When are your genitals available?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
