google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Come see our sink grown plant.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
