you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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