; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
