I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Terrible idea I love it
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
