it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
