i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
