Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
