i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
This house was built for laser tag.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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