You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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