I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
