I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
